woo first commit

src/main.go

@@ -0,0 +1,226 @@
+package main
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"math"
+	"math/rand"
+	"strconv"
+	"time"
+
+	"github.com/TwiN/go-color"
+)
+
+var methods = []string{
+	"trolling",
+	"nuking",
+	"DDoSing",
+	"colour-coding",
+	"evaluating",
+	"pissing on",
+	"installing apache2 on",
+	"crypto mining on",
+	"teleporting to",
+	"griefing",
+	"fetishising",
+	"publically endorsing",
+	"crowdfunding",
+	"noscoping",
+	"load balancing",
+	"expiring SSL certs on",
+	"scamming",
+	"http.POST('dickbutt')ing on",
+	"torrenting Bee Movie from",
+	"defragmenting",
+	"debugging",
+	"lorem ipsuming",
+	"telling your mother about",
+	"randomly generating",
+	"[meta joke]ing",
+	"making amazon purchases on",
+	"minting",
+	"investing in",
+	"starting an NFT collection using",
+	"buying",
+	"parking",
+	"truncating",
+	"deleting",
+	"disconnecting",
+	"blacklisting \"pornhub.com\" on",
+	"reporting",
+	"surveilling",
+	"webcrawling",
+	"scanning traffic from",
+	"",
+	"i forgot",
+	"applying thermal paste to",
+	"committing tax fraud with",
+	"torrenting disney movies on",
+	"surfing the web with",
+	"LOL'ing",
+	"shitposting on",
+	"wasting time on",
+	"setting while loop flags for', // ",
+	"livestreaming",
+	"introducing the in-laws to",
+	"404'ing",
+	"leaking",
+	"connecting via bluetooth to",
+	"obtaining the wi-fi password for",
+	"you were never actually going to visit",
+	"decrypting",
+	"encrypting",
+	"firewalling",
+	"installing",
+	"hacking",
+	"inspecting the elements of",
+	"tunelling via",
+	"downloading from",
+	"uploading to",
+	"throttling",
+	"nuclear-powering",
+	"rat-infesting",
+	"installing Windows Server 2008 on",
+	"connecting my raspberry pi to",
+	"git committing",
+	"sudo rm -rf /'ing",
+	"doing your mom on",
+	"balling",
+	"pirating on",
+	"downloading R2R software from",
+	"water-cooling",
+	"ejecting",
+	"formatting",
+	"formatting system partition on",
+	"vaccinating",
+	"medicating",
+	"injecting",
+	"pouring milk on",
+	"microwaving",
+	"deepfrying",
+	"randomizing chance on",
+	"exposing dream's cheating scandal from",
+	"hosting dream SMP on",
+	"wow look funny numbers!",
+	"brapping",
+	":)",
+	"jerking off",
+	"rendering",
+	"saving to",
+	"screenshotting",
+	"pinging",
+	"FATAL ERROR: cannot connect to",
+	"ok bud 👍",
+	"streaming 'Big Mouth' from",
+	"casting to",
+	"synchronising",
+	"closing all ports on",
+	"finding your father on",
+	"SSHing to",
+	"printscreening",
+	"sending ominous countdown to",
+	"sending pizzas to",
+	"sending doordash to",
+	"transcoding",
+	"killing",
+	"pending",
+	"buffering",
+	"loading",
+	"hard-wiring",
+	"fucking",
+	"sending nudes to",
+	"installing a VPN on",
+	"stealing nudes from",
+	"getting critical alerts from microsoft on",
+	":trollface:ing",
+	"staring at",
+	"PWNing",
+	"downloading RAM from",
+	"hey google, connect to",
+	"stealing",
+	"generating",
+	"banning",
+	"proxying",
+	"racially profiling",
+	"grossly offending",
+	"nullnullnull",
+}
+
+var running = true
+var progress = 0
+var wasIPv6 = false
+var wasPorted = false
+var lastMethod string
+var method string
+
+func segv4() string {
+	return strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(255), 10)
+}
+func segv6() string {
+	return strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(65535), 16)
+}
+
+func main() {
+
+	rand.Seed(time.Now().UnixNano())
+
+	for running {
+
+		// what are we doing
+		for method == lastMethod {
+			method = color.Ize(color.White, methods[rand.Intn(len(methods))])
+		}
+
+		// where are we doing it
+		var address string = color.Ize(color.Yellow, segv4()+"."+segv4()+"."+segv4()+"."+segv4())
+
+		// random chance to be IPv6
+		if rand.Intn(100) < 5 && !wasIPv6 {
+			address = color.Ize(color.Yellow, segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6())
+			wasIPv6 = true
+		} else {
+			wasIPv6 = false
+		}
+
+		// random chance to have a port
+		// "what are the chances of this firing with ipv6?" - loudar, seconds before getting an ipv6 with a port
+		if rand.Intn(100) < 5 && !wasPorted && method != "closing all ports on" || true {
+			address += ":" + color.Ize(color.Cyan, strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(65535), 10))
+			wasPorted = true
+		} else {
+			wasPorted = false
+		}
+
+		// print ip address with method(if applicable)
+		if method != " " {
+			fmt.Print(method, " ")
+		}
+		fmt.Print(address)
+
+		// ...........................................[ √ ]
+		var complete = false
+		for !complete {
+			if rand.Intn(10) < 9 || progress < 3 {
+				// process.stdout.write('.')
+				fmt.Print(".")
+				progress++
+
+				// set complete time
+				// var waitUntil = new Date().getTime() + 250 + math.round(math.min(2**(random()*12), 5000+random()*1000))
+				var waitUntil = time.Now().UnixMilli() + 250 + int64(math.Min(math.Pow(2, float64(rand.Intn(12))), float64(5000+rand.Intn(1000))))
+
+				// wait until time has arrived
+				for time.Now().UnixMilli() < waitUntil {
+					// do nothing
+				}
+			} else {
+				// console.log('['+' ✔️ '.green+']')
+				fmt.Print("[ " + color.Ize(color.Green, "√") + " ]\n")
+				progress = 0
+				complete = true
+			}
+		}
+
+		lastMethod = method
+
+	}
+}