optimisation and cleanup! ✨
This commit is contained in:
mellodoot
parent
c059111465
commit
641ef2d77e
5 changed files with 280 additions and 189 deletions
318
src/main.go
318
src/main.go
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@ -1,225 +1,171 @@
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package main
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import (
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"bufio"
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"fmt"
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"math"
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"log"
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"math/rand"
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"os"
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"strconv"
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"time"
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"github.com/TwiN/go-color"
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)
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var methods = []string{
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"trolling",
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"nuking",
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"DDoSing",
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"colour-coding",
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"evaluating",
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"pissing on",
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"installing apache2 on",
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"crypto mining on",
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"teleporting to",
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"griefing",
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"fetishising",
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"publically endorsing",
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"crowdfunding",
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"noscoping",
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"load balancing",
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"expiring SSL certs on",
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"scamming",
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"http.POST('dickbutt')ing on",
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"torrenting Bee Movie from",
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"defragmenting",
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"debugging",
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"lorem ipsuming",
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"telling your mother about",
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"randomly generating",
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"[meta joke]ing",
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"making amazon purchases on",
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"minting",
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"investing in",
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"starting an NFT collection using",
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"buying",
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"parking",
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"truncating",
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"deleting",
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"disconnecting",
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"blacklisting \"pornhub.com\" on",
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"reporting",
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"surveilling",
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"webcrawling",
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"scanning traffic from",
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"tunelling my smart oven to",
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"i forgot",
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"applying thermal paste to",
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"committing tax fraud with",
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"torrenting disney movies on",
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"surfing the web on",
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"LOL'ing",
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"shitposting on",
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"wasting time on",
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"setting while loop flags for', // ",
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"livestreaming",
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"introducing the in-laws to",
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"404'ing",
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"leaking",
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"connecting via bluetooth to",
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"obtaining the wi-fi password for",
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"you were never actually going to visit",
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"decrypting",
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"encrypting",
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"firewalling",
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"installing",
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"hacking",
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"inspecting the elements of",
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"tunelling via",
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"downloading from",
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"uploading to",
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"throttling",
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"nuclear-powering",
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"rat-infesting",
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"installing Windows Server 2008 on",
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"connecting my raspberry pi to",
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"git committing",
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"sudo rm -rf /'ing",
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"doing your mom on",
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"balling",
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"pirating on",
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"downloading R2R software from",
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"water-cooling",
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"ejecting",
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"formatting",
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"formatting system partition on",
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"vaccinating",
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"medicating",
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"injecting",
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"pouring milk on",
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"microwaving",
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"deepfrying",
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"randomizing chance on",
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"exposing dream's cheating scandal from",
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"hosting dream SMP on",
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"brapping",
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":)",
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"jerking off",
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"rendering",
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"saving to",
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"screenshotting",
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"pinging",
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"FATAL ERROR: cannot connect to",
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"ok bud 👍",
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"streaming 'Big Mouth' from",
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"casting to",
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"synchronising",
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"closing all ports on",
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"finding your father on",
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"SSHing to",
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"printscreening",
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"sending ominous countdown to",
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"sending pizzas to",
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"sending doordash to",
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"transcoding",
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"killing",
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"pending",
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"buffering",
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"loading",
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"hard-wiring",
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"fucking",
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"sending nudes to",
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"installing a VPN on",
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"stealing nudes from",
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"getting critical wirus alerts from",
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":trollface:ing",
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"staring at",
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"PWNing",
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"downloading RAM from",
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"hey google, connect to",
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"stealing",
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"generating",
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"banning",
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"proxying",
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"causing a ruckus on",
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"grossly offending",
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"nullnullnull",
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}
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// === internal vars (no need to edit these!) ===
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var running = true
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var progress = 0
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var wasIPv6 = false
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var wasPorted = false
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var lastMethod string
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var method string
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var running bool
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var i_was_IPv6 = false
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var i_was_ported = false
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var i_last_method string
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var i_methods []string
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var methods_file = "methods.txt"
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func segv4() string {
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return strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(255), 10)
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}
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func segv6() string {
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return strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(65535), 16)
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}
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// === timings ===
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// minimum wait for an update (ms).
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var min_wait int64 = 0
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// maximum wait for an update (ms).
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var max_wait int64 = 50
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// === chances ===
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// chance (0.0 - 1.0) for the operation to complete each update.
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var complete_rate = 0.1
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// chance (0.0 - 1.0) for the random IP to be IPv6.
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var ipv6_chance = 0.05
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// chance (0.0 - 1.0) for the random IP to have a port.
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var port_chance = 0.05
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func main() {
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// read the methods file!
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content, err := os.Open(methods_file)
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if err != nil {
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// fuck!!!
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log.Fatal(err)
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return
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}
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// line scanner for the methods file!
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scanner := bufio.NewScanner(content)
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for scanner.Scan() {
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// append new lines to the methods list!
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i_methods = append(i_methods, scanner.Text())
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}
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if err := scanner.Err(); err != nil {
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// fuck!!!
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log.Fatal(err)
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return
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}
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// close the file afterwards!
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content.Close()
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rand.Seed(time.Now().UnixNano())
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var waitdelta = max_wait - min_wait
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running = true
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for running {
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// what are we doing
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for method == lastMethod {
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method = color.Ize(color.White, methods[rand.Intn(len(methods))])
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}
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// === create a new IP to do the funny to ===
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// where are we doing it
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var address string = color.Ize(color.Yellow, segv4()+"."+segv4()+"."+segv4()+"."+segv4())
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// what are we doing (method)
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var method = newMethod()
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// random chance to be IPv6
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if rand.Intn(100) < 5 && !wasIPv6 {
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address = color.Ize(color.Yellow, segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6())
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wasIPv6 = true
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} else {
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wasIPv6 = false
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}
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// where are we doing it (address)
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var address string = newAddress(
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ipv6_chance, port_chance,
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method != "opening all ports on" &&
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method != "closing all ports on")
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// random chance to have a port
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// "what are the chances of this firing with ipv6?" - loudar, seconds before getting an ipv6 with a port
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if rand.Intn(100) < 5 && !wasPorted && method != "closing all ports on" {
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address += ":" + color.Ize(color.Cyan, strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(65535), 10))
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wasPorted = true
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} else {
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wasPorted = false
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}
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// === print the damn thing! ===
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// print ip address with method(if applicable)
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// > [doing something to] 127.0.0.1...
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if method != " " {
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fmt.Print(method, " ")
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}
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fmt.Print(address)
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// ...........................................[ √ ]
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var complete = false
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for !complete {
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if rand.Intn(10) < 9 || progress < 3 {
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// process.stdout.write('.')
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// and now, the slow, painful wait begins...
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var progress = 0
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for {
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// if complete check fails, and we have over 3 wait periods...
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// print periods at random intervals, wasting the user's time
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if rand.Float64() > complete_rate || progress < 3 {
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// > ..........
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fmt.Print(".")
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progress++
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// set complete time
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// var waitUntil = new Date().getTime() + 250 + math.round(math.min(2**(random()*12), 5000+random()*1000))
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var waitUntil = time.Now().UnixMilli() + 250 + int64(math.Min(math.Pow(2, float64(rand.Intn(12))), float64(5000+rand.Intn(1000))))
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// time (ms) after which the progress bar will update
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var waitUntil = time.Now().UnixMilli() +
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int64(min_wait) +
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rand.Int63n(waitdelta)
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// wait until time has arrived
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// wait until flag time reached
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for time.Now().UnixMilli() < waitUntil {
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// do nothing
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}
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} else {
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// console.log('['+' ✔️ '.green+']')
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fmt.Print("[ " + color.Ize(color.Green, "√") + " ]\n")
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progress = 0
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complete = true
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}
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}
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lastMethod = method
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continue
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}
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// [ √ ]
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fmt.Print("[ " + color.Ize(color.Green, "√") + " ]\n")
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break
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}
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}
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}
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func newMethod() string {
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var method string = i_last_method
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for method == i_last_method {
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method = color.Ize(color.White, i_methods[rand.Intn(len(i_methods))])
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}
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i_last_method = method
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return method
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}
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// newAddress returns a randomly-generated IP address, IPv4 or IPv6, sometimes with a port.
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//
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// the chance of an IPv6 being returned is determined by ipv6_chance.
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// the chance of a port being assigned is determined by port_chance and no_ports.
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func newAddress(ipv6_chance float64, port_chance float64, no_ports bool) string {
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var addr string
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// random chance to be IPv6 (ffe8::...)
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if rand.Float64() > ipv6_chance {
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addr = color.Ize(color.Yellow, segv4()+"."+segv4()+"."+segv4()+"."+segv4())
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} else {
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addr = color.Ize(color.Yellow, segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6()+":"+segv6())
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}
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// random chance to have a port
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// "what are the chances of this firing with ipv6?"
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// - loudar, seconds before getting an ipv6 with a port
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if rand.Float64() < port_chance && !no_ports {
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addr += ":" + color.Ize(color.Cyan, strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(65535), 10))
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}
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return addr
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}
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// returns an IPv4 segment, a random 8-bit value, in decimal.
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//
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// i.e. 0, 69, 88, 123, 127, 255...
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func segv4() string {
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return strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(255), 10)
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}
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// returns an IPv6 segment, a random 16-bit value, in hexadecimal.
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//
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// i.e. ff80, e396, 4d87, c388, c5f6...
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func segv6() string {
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return strconv.FormatInt(rand.Int63n(65535), 16)
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}
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